these days, a little bit stronger than the last

Good day,

I am writing you here, Saturday for me, and it is getting hot. I can feel the harsh times coming. I am up to about 4 litres of water a day and a pretty wimpy apetite as I move throughout the city.
By the time I get back to the house though, I begin to anticipate the meal to come. I can hear Ma bustling in the kitchen, sometimes in the dark due to a power out, and I start to feel hungry. These days I am craving her food which is such a lovely feeling. I am always looking forward to the roti piece, the mound of bhat, and the aloo mix. The latest addition to any plate I eat has been an oinon. Whether its a snack or a big meal from Ma, I crave the punch and crunch of a raw onion. These days a strange desire for an onion or a cocnut just cracked and sold from a wrinkly lady on the street are most common.

This week again felt more like I have a place, and a home in Kolkata. Out of neccessity perhaps I am feeling more comfortable as I move about the city and back out to the village. In Kalighat I still don't know everything, but I know what I can do. I am getting close with a few particular women who stay at Kalighat, I am not sure if thats the best idea. For some reason this week was full of laughter at Kalighat. The women love to mock my bedeshi ways, and I love to hear them crack up. My Bengali language is coming along slowly... I increase by a few words a day. I feel like the sisters/didis that work at Kalighat are getting used to having me around. The one sister is always keeping me busy, and once and a while she will offer me an ounce, only a pinch, of affirmation. I think she knows it's what I live for. This week as I was throwing on my dupata scarf to leave Kalighat she studied me for a couple for minutes. I was standing nervously, anticiapting a commment about my uncombed hair or my saggy pants, but after some silence she said "You look Indian. You are wearing a dupata and you look like an India woman". I can tell you that just filled me with joy. I think I have a lot to learn from the sisters. I think this week I will hang around to be with them after we do the afternoon shift.

This coming week brings more new adventures. I am doing my first visit into the red light district. Also, we have visitors from Nepal. Also, as much time as my feet and sweaty face can allow me at Kalighat.

All my love, and a few resignating words I have been humming this week. The Cold War Kids sing this one,
"I've got one friend laying accross from me; I did not choose him, he did not choose me. We've got not chance of recovery, joy and hospital, joy and misery"....It reminds me of the ladies (and men) at Kalighat sometimes. Lots of joy, misery as well, but all in it next to eachother.